Dvar Torah – Bamidbar | Rabbis For Human Rights

Dvar Torah – Bamidbar

By Rabbis for Human Rights on July 8, 2007 - כ"ב תמוז תשס"ז

Near the end of the haftarah of Parashat B’Midbar, the prophet Hosea states: “And in that day – declares the Lord – You will call [Me] Ishi, and no more will you call Me Baali” (Hosea 2:18). Hosea is speaking of the time of redemption, and compares the relationship between God and humanity to that of a husband and wife. He says that while today that relationship to God is one of possession (as signified by the term baali, my “husband” or “owner”), after the redemption the relationship will be one between equals (as indicated by the word ishi, literally: “my man”).
Hosea’s description remains relevant even today. On the one hand, we see a change in attitudes that is reflected in several internationals human rights treaties (to which Israel is a signatory). For example, The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women guarantees that women and men will enjoy “the same rights and responsibilities during marriage and at its dissolution.” On the other hand, in Israel we remain legally subject to the jurisdiction of the rabbinical courts, before which men and women do not enjoy equal status. The husband is the party that grants the divorce, and it is he must do so of his own free will. As opposed to this, a wife cannot divorce her husband. Thus, a woman seeking to free herself from a marriage finds herself wholly dependant upon her husband’s will. The result is that there are currently thousands of Jewish women who are not free to remarry because their husbands refuse to grant them a divorce. Such women are called “agunot” or “mesuravot get.” The halakha has the means to solve these issues, but the rabbinic courts generally are unwilling to use them.
Dr. Ruth Halperin Kadari has argued that “the severe discrimination against women in divorce [in Israel], and the blatant disparity of power in regards to the get, affects the entire relationship between the parties, even if it does not end in divorce. Recognition of the legal disadvantage influences a woman’s sense of self, and the interrelationship between her and her spouse. Women internalize their disadvantage in the marital relationship, and that internalization seeps into their economic self-awareness. We have here a process that imposes weakness and silence.”
These conceptions filter down into the entire framework of the family relationship, and proceed to affect the relationships of the next generation.
The family is a principle element in the structuring of society, and when it is rife with injustice, inequality and discrimination, how can children be expected to grow up to lead lives premised upon equality?
It is clear that in order to achieve real progress in establishing the equality of women in Israeli society, we must change the underlying basis of marriage and divorce from a one-sided proprietary relationship to a relationship based upon equality and mutuality. This change must be expressed both in the marriage ceremony and in the legal approach to divorce.
I believe that we, as a society, should help couples seeking to establish a relationship based upon equality by performing egalitarian wedding ceremonies, and by encouraging them to sign prenuptial agreements. As Rabbi Diana Villa and Rabbi Monique Susskind Goldberg have written, such agreements “prevent one party to the marriage from harming the other by denying to grant or accept a divorce. Such agreements are also intended to rectify, to some extent, the inequality between husbands and wives in divorce proceedings, which is a situation that inflicts great suffering upon women.
Let us pray that the days of redemption will soon be upon us, and that they will bring, first and foremost, equality: “And in that day – declares the Lord – You will call [Me] Ishi, and no more will you call Me Baali.”

Rabbis for Human Rights recommends that you read these articles in Bemidmar

BeMidbar: Human Rights and The Triumph of God's Hope - May 30th, 2008
Dvar Torah – Bamidbar - July 8th, 2007
Bemidbar: Reaching out to the ones we would normally turn away - May 26th, 2006
BeMidbar: Be counted as a valued individual - June 2nd, 2005

Rabbis for Human Rights recommends that you read these articles in rhr profile

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